When dealing with a degenerative disease like Huntington's, there are days and then there are days! It's been tough recently as Marvin is struggling with some issues. I may tend to get a bit emotional in these times. I try to keep that at home, and most of the time, I am successful.
Today was a pool day, but I didn't want to fall apart in the water! (I'm just imagining myself truly coming apart in the water!)
Yesterday there were some good, funny things:
When I woke up Tuesday, my mind had been working on Marvin's struggles. I had some ideas. I was focused on those thoughts as I talked with the nurse and the aide. I fed Marvin, and we left the dining room with his unfinished cup of water and plastic spoon. My plan was to finish feeding him the water, but he was full.
I signed out at the front desk, walked to my car, and got in and suddenly realized I had the plastic water glass in my hand, spoon and all. I just put it in the cup holder and went home.
When I came back to help at 4:30 I walked in with the water glass...I didn't take home the things I needed to, but certainly got that water! The nurse and aides laughed.
Although he wasn't feeling well, Marvin enjoyed hearing a couple funny stories from his past, and laughed (noiselessly). It just blesses my heart when he laughs with his eyes and smile.
Grief can be a long, long process with an incurable disease. I am thankful for the ability to feel my feelings, process, take a break, and then return to my post. God is faithful.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Friday, January 13, 2017
Everyday Adventures
This week's adventures with commentary:
-- Trip to Costco to get my new card yesterday. As I stood at the counter, I noticed the shopping carts against the wall, loaded and overflowing with returned items. Here it is mid-January, and I was surprised at the quantity of merchandise. I said to the employee, "Wow, that's a lot of work for someone to put all that stuff back." She replied, "Yeah, I'm glad it's not MY job."
Obligations to purchase Christmas gifts are huge, but I suppose we could look at the economics of it: keeps people working. I wonder what these gifts say about the relationships of the people giving, receiving and returning them!
-- Early morning sadness today. I awoke thinking about some people. I went to the computer and Googled one of them. My throat clinched when I read headlines from a few months ago about the death of a young man by his own hand. Yes, he was troubled, and yes, many were trying hard to help him. It left an ache in my heart.
-- A fasting blood-draw appointment at the clinic this morning. A beautiful 2 year-old with her mommy and "grammie" were checking in. The toddler was obviously not feeling well. As I stood in line behind them, she turned and looked at me and smiled, lifted her hand to wave, and said, "My name is ____." I smiled and felt a JOY infusion!
Isn't life like this? Moments of sorrow, disappointment, pain, and then a demanding sunrise spreading across the sky, a delightful wave from a child. And all the while, our Father is saying, "I'm with you in this...filter everything through my love and concern for you and this world."
Happy Friday, the 13th.
-- Trip to Costco to get my new card yesterday. As I stood at the counter, I noticed the shopping carts against the wall, loaded and overflowing with returned items. Here it is mid-January, and I was surprised at the quantity of merchandise. I said to the employee, "Wow, that's a lot of work for someone to put all that stuff back." She replied, "Yeah, I'm glad it's not MY job."
Obligations to purchase Christmas gifts are huge, but I suppose we could look at the economics of it: keeps people working. I wonder what these gifts say about the relationships of the people giving, receiving and returning them!
-- Early morning sadness today. I awoke thinking about some people. I went to the computer and Googled one of them. My throat clinched when I read headlines from a few months ago about the death of a young man by his own hand. Yes, he was troubled, and yes, many were trying hard to help him. It left an ache in my heart.
-- A fasting blood-draw appointment at the clinic this morning. A beautiful 2 year-old with her mommy and "grammie" were checking in. The toddler was obviously not feeling well. As I stood in line behind them, she turned and looked at me and smiled, lifted her hand to wave, and said, "My name is ____." I smiled and felt a JOY infusion!
Isn't life like this? Moments of sorrow, disappointment, pain, and then a demanding sunrise spreading across the sky, a delightful wave from a child. And all the while, our Father is saying, "I'm with you in this...filter everything through my love and concern for you and this world."
Happy Friday, the 13th.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
A poem for 2017 penned in Malaysia
I recently spent time in Malaysia with my daughter and son-in-law and three grandsons. I penned this poem one morning as I sat and watched storm clouds gather and roll over the island mountains.
The gathering gray
blowing in
blanketing hills
bringing rain
creeps across the landscape.
Wind whips and writhes,
swishing, pouring water
on roofs and windowpanes.
Puddles spring up
Rivers flow from concrete.
Thirsty palms, banana plants, bushes and flowers
rustle and sway,
imploring the rain:
"Fall here; fall here."
Moving like the storm, constantly moving,
nothing stops people, commerce, traffic.
Rain coats on motorcycles,
Umbrellas at bus stops.
Like the earth, people are anxious for rain to fall,
to clear the air
to open space
to freshen their steps
to wash away sadness
to heal their earth,
"Fall here; fall here."
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