SHOPPING and the Year of Small Things

     This week a friend left a gift bag on my door. Inside were some Christmas dish towels and a cookie cutter. The cookie cutter looked like modern art, and I had to look at it carefully to see that it said, "JOY." I have to make some sugar cookies just so I can eat JOY.
     I did not purchase big gifts for anyone this year...I did some special giving --- like massages for co-workers from a massage therapist, a few crocheted items, and some other small things.
     Tonight...Christmas Eve...the news anchor reported that we aren't doing so well this year. We, consumers, aren't living up to the expectations of retailers. We're not spending enough. We're not going deep enough in debt. We're affecting their bottom line. Yeah for us!
     I refuse to be made to feel guilty that I don't want to max out even one credit card. I don't want to buy stupid gifts that people are going to re-gift or put in the back of the closet. I don't want to worry about whether I will offend someone by not giving them a gift or giving them something they hate.
     I refuse to allow anything to keep me from the truth of Christmas. Jesus, the Son of God, became a human being in order to die for the sins of the world. Truth and Life born in obscurity...Power and Glory living among us. And Immanuel, God with us in our midst. That's BIG.
    
    

What Are You Doing for Christmas?

   I was asked that question yesterday. People expect you to say, "Going to see my relatives," or "Hosting friends for a meal," or something. They don't expect silence. "Well," I said, "I think I will just go feed Marvin and be with him for a few hours."
   If you know me, you know what happened to me after 11 years in Asia. Christmas changed forever. It would no longer be about decorations, lots and lots of presents, a huge dinner, and going home for the holiday.
   I remember the homesickness that surprised me so much the first couple of years in Bangkok. I clung to everything from my past to try to create a feeling of normalcy.
    We did eat dinners with friends there and with complete strangers, who happened to be traveling the world, stuck in Bangkok at Christmas. We did buy or make gifts --- simple, inexpensive gifts. Most of all we focused on the homemade nativity scene and thought of what a difference Jesus could make.
    When we returned to America, I missed the simplicity of Christmas in Asia. I have even made other people frustrated by my unwillingness to throw myself into the decorating and shopping abyss. I sometimes struggle with church Christmas programs, where the focus is sometimes on the people involved more than in celebrating the Christ. 
    Oh, I still buy some gifts, hopefully ones that are meaningful. I still attend some functions. I just don't get the nostalgic feelings others treasure.
    This year Marvin and I will talk about the Christmas story; we will give thanks for God who became flesh and blood so He could die for our sins, and bring redemption from this life --- of sin, diseases like Huntington's, and pain.
Above all else, Christmas means:  THIS IS NOT ALL THERE IS because JESUS CAME.

Make Room For Joy

     There's so little room for joy in hearts and lives these days. Just this week (and it's only Tuesday), people have awakened to the truth of betrayals, legitimate fears for their loved ones, devastating diagnoses, and unbelievable uncertainties about their jobs, finances, and relationships.
      When I read that sentence again, I realize these are human experiences -that come to everyone, but only God can truly make any good come out of any of them. They remind me of the life of Joseph in the Bible.
      He was a favorite of his father, which made him hated by his brothers. They sold him into slavery where he served faithfully, but then was falsely accused. The ups and downs of Joseph's life feel like a roller coaster. Every new challenge had a connecting phrase: "BUT GOD..."
      God allowed Joseph to be in a pit, in a dungeon, falsely accused, considered dead, hungry and thirsty, and more. BUT GOD showed up, and used those circumstances to bring glory and honor, rescue and life to His people in the end.
      Wherever you are in your valley, in your pit of despair, or even on your mountain top...it's God who will work through your life to make room for joy. May His gentle touch mend our hearts today.

How To Lie

     I recently wrote this for the humor column, and wanted to get your take on it. Many people I know never think before they lie. In fact, some of them lie because they have no social skills to understand how to make straight-forward conversations. They feel they must make up stories to be interesting to people they meet. So, what do you think?
How to Lie
     Remember the movie, “Liar, Liar,” starring Jim Carrey? When Dad missed his son’s birthday party again, 5-year-old Max’s wish came true immediately: his father could not lie anymore. Craziness ensued.  
       Although research indicates that it’s often the more intelligent, savvy child who lies most, lying is not always the most sensible thing to do. Research also seems to assert that these smart children may learn to lie from … wait for it: their parents. Parents are notorious for assuming their child does not understand what they are saying, or that teens are not listening to anything. Obviously that’s not the case. One young man reported he learned about lying when he heard his father and mother preparing to do their taxes.
      Books have been written on how to tell if someone is lying to you. Have you ever seen a volume on how to lie? I looked up “How to Lie” on Wiki-How, and here are a few key thoughts, in case you need some pointers on the subject.

1. Make peace with your decision to lie, and consider the probability of getting caught. Think about it first.  

2. Get your story straight before you lie; think about the details.  Imagine the story you are about to tell. Does it make sense?

3. Do the opposite of what liars do. Read some of those books on how to spot a liar and take note of what NOT to do. Then practice your story in front of a mirror or video camera.

4. Play dumb or appear indifferent.

5. Know when NOT to lie. Besides ethical or faith-based reasons, there are some practical realities when lying is extremely unwise: 

--lying to a police officer or government official, or even on a serious job interview where you have to pass a background check.
--to an attacker, like: “I don’t have any money.”
--to your children about death, divorce, adoption, etc.
--to cover for someone else’s illegal activity.

     By the time I was done reading this list, I was laughing. Partly because of my strange sense of humor, but also because it’s hard to lie well, so the best bet is NOT TO LIE!

      I remember having to decide if I was going to lie about scraping the side of my father’s first brand new car. I had been out cruising with friends, and at the A & W, I got a little close to a telephone pole. I actually thought about some of the aforementioned questions, and decided to tell the truth. I cannot remember what the consequences were, simply because not lying was such a big decision for me!
       I understand the nuances of tact, and speaking truth in love, as well as the complications of not replying to a specific question. “Does this color look good on me?” or “Do you like my new haircut?” are dangerous questions, and may require skirting the truth a bit.
       How have you paid the price for lying? What has helped you become a more honest, forthright person?

 

 

 

Fascination

     My route to the nursing home to see my husband seldom varies. I've begun to notice the houses and vacant lots. One property caught my eye.
     It used to be a daycare facility. The back yard has a chain link fence. What is fascinating to me is this weeping willow.

       The tree has been neglected, but continues to grow and
grow and grow. It now touches both fences and the ground.
It completely hides the building behind it.
     Somehow the name of the tree is appropriate for this picture---it's been left alone, with no care. You can't sit under the shade of its branches. It's rather sad.
     This started my imagination churning.
     I don't like paying to water my big lawn and then paying someone to mow it. What would happen if we let big sections of our world go wild? I know it would never fly, but I'm thinking about what it would look like. How would it change our lives?
     So when you view this picture, where does your imagination go? Let me know!

Shopping with a Step Stool

      I am always in a hurry when I shop. I know what I need; I know where it is so I get it and go. Prescriptions were ready, so I decided to pick up some skim milk and ice cream. I know-those two don’t go together. I grabbed a cart so I didn’t have to carry cold ice cream in my arms and headed for the milk at the back of the store.

      Alas, it was 4 p.m. and people had been shopping all day. Half gallons of skim milk were now only available from the back of the shelf, and I couldn’t reach one. I am vertically challenged.
      This has happened to me before. In fact several readers have come to my rescue; you know who you are. But this week- no taller people in sight. I even looked down several aisles to see if there were any tall people there. Nope.
       I came back to the milk and then I saw a gentleman at the far end, taking pictures of yogurt. He had a name plate on his shirt, but I could not read it from a distance, so I’m assuming he worked for the yogurt company. Who else would photograph the yogurt display?
       I thought about calling out to him: “Sir, could you help me here?” But I don’t like to raise my voice in the grocery store. What’s that about? It’s not a library! I didn’t want to interrupt his photo shoot either, so I kept looking. I felt a bit like I was stalking the milk display.        
       I studied the bottom shelf which has a four inch metal plate on it, and looked around. Should I stand on that? I could. I decided against it.
       Kudos to the lady who helped me. I said something stupid like, “I’m looking for a tall person.” She politely asked, “What do you need?” She had to stand on tip toe to get the carton.
       I understand the advertising rule: most popular items are eye level or lower so they can easily be chosen. I’m fine with that. I may start bringing my step stool with me though. I promise I will share with others who need it.

God Lets Go Sometimes

     I remember when our son was a senior in high school, asking to go to New York City for New Years, and to the Florida Keys for spring break. How I wanted to say, "NO!!! It's NOT SAFE!" I prayed about it, and I heard, "He will soon be 18. Let him go; I will go with him."
     Phil was trying to find himself, and these forays into the unknown were the adventures that would help mold him. It was so hard. I knew that there were going to be things happening of which I might not approve. But I had to let him go, and see what he learned. I had to trust that God would go with him.
     As I began again this week to read Romans, I came to a phrase I've read many times. This time it has bothered me a bit --- I even woke up at 3:30 a.m. thinking of this phrase: "God abandoned them..." to whatever they wanted to do, even the things that did not please Him. Other versions say, "God gave them up to..." or "God let them go..."
     God lets us go when we insist on our way. He does not always protect us from the consequences of our choices. But He's always watching and waiting for us to turn around and come back home to Him. The next question is: "Why is it so hard to turn around and come back?"
     Sometimes other people have shaped our view of God - and He may not be exactly how He is portrayed by others. If I really know Him, His love, His long-suffering nature, His forgiveness, His grace and mercy, His delight in me...then I can trust Him with my plans, dreams, my very life.