Months ago my son asked if I would be interested in coming out to Boston to stay with their two young children while he and Carolyn went to academic seminars in San Diego. Here's the logistics: one of them flies out to meetings on the Monday of the week, flies back home on Wednesday, and then leaves for San Diego Thursday morning. Grandma arrives in Boston on Thursday, the other parent flies out Friday morning early for San Diego. First parent returns on a red-eye Saturday night (arriving Sunday morning w/delicious bagels); other parent returns in the early evening. Whew...Not done yet---Grandma leaves to return home Monday afternoon/evening, arriving in Seattle about 10 pm.
It is safe to say that the adults in this story might be dragging today! (More stories from my travels next time!)
I loved activities with my grandchildren: Playing games like: "I'm Going on a Trip" and "Huckle Buckle Beanstalk," making Mad-libs on the computer, drawing, reading, and going out for Chinese food.
The weather was a bit difficult: 20 degrees upon my arrival, with bitter winds. Taking them to school and picking them up required me to layer clothing and cover my face. And still I'm gargling this morning for my sore throat!
I came away with several important lessons: I'm getting older and have less energy; my grandchildren think about things I never, ever thought of---perhaps even as an adult, much less as a child; imagination is priceless; and hugs from grandchildren (and their parents) feel sooooo good!
This Thanksgiving, no matter what difficulties we are facing, we can find many things for which to be grateful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Sad and Glad
Tonight may be the last night of her long life. She is resting peacefully with three of her nine children gathered by her bed. Her daughters showed me family pictures on the wall. She was and still is a beautiful woman. Her family is grieving and waiting --- and they know the time is close.
As I got into my car to leave the nursing home, I switched on a CD where I had left off my listening. I received it in the mail today. The song where I started was "You Raise Me Up," followed by "I'll Fly Away." Other songs about heaven followed.
Then "My Jesus, I Love Thee" started playing. I was already crying, but I almost had to pull over. This is the song Marvin and I sang to each other at our wedding in 1971. "In mansions of glory and endless delight, I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright. I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow, 'If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now."
Joy and sorrow mingle together to make a more brilliant pattern, a deeper masterpiece. There are no easy paths through this labyrinth of death, but we can support each other every step of the way.
"Comfort one another with the comfort you have received."
As I got into my car to leave the nursing home, I switched on a CD where I had left off my listening. I received it in the mail today. The song where I started was "You Raise Me Up," followed by "I'll Fly Away." Other songs about heaven followed.
Then "My Jesus, I Love Thee" started playing. I was already crying, but I almost had to pull over. This is the song Marvin and I sang to each other at our wedding in 1971. "In mansions of glory and endless delight, I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright. I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow, 'If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now."
Joy and sorrow mingle together to make a more brilliant pattern, a deeper masterpiece. There are no easy paths through this labyrinth of death, but we can support each other every step of the way.
"Comfort one another with the comfort you have received."
Friday, September 26, 2014
Grief Connected
I don't know what else to call this feeling of grief.
Today my father-in-law will be saying goodbye to his eldest son, my husband...probably for the last time. Grandpa is moving across the country to live with his granddaughter and be close to his daughter.
I was surprised these last two days to experience this flood of emotions. As I wrote about it, I realized it's about a father and son never seeing each other again in this life...but also about the fact that we are ALL going to say goodbye to Marvin Jr. and none of us knows when that will be. It's about grief connecting with grief.
Sometimes I try very hard to avoid grief, but in the past few years, it sneaks up on me, and pours out at the most inopportune moments. People don't know what to do or say if I start weeping. I can't help it. I am able to exert self-control over grief IF I have been faithful to grieve sufficiently when I am alone. Otherwise, it's like a full cup of water that is added to and overflows.
Most people do anything to avoid crying, and to avoid other people who are crying. Crying is so important to our mental and physical health.
What have you felt like weeping about recently?
Today my father-in-law will be saying goodbye to his eldest son, my husband...probably for the last time. Grandpa is moving across the country to live with his granddaughter and be close to his daughter.
I was surprised these last two days to experience this flood of emotions. As I wrote about it, I realized it's about a father and son never seeing each other again in this life...but also about the fact that we are ALL going to say goodbye to Marvin Jr. and none of us knows when that will be. It's about grief connecting with grief.
Sometimes I try very hard to avoid grief, but in the past few years, it sneaks up on me, and pours out at the most inopportune moments. People don't know what to do or say if I start weeping. I can't help it. I am able to exert self-control over grief IF I have been faithful to grieve sufficiently when I am alone. Otherwise, it's like a full cup of water that is added to and overflows.
Most people do anything to avoid crying, and to avoid other people who are crying. Crying is so important to our mental and physical health.
What have you felt like weeping about recently?
Friday, August 29, 2014
Feelings
Feelings are such interesting and complicated parts of our lives. We cannot separate ourselves from our feelings and be truly healthy and human. We are made to feel.
Jesus felt frustration, sadness, anger, and extreme joy. It seems he even felt hurt when, in the Garden, he said, "Could you not watch with me one hour?" He was disappointed in people.
Many of us were taught some of these things as we grew up:
-- stop crying and be a man, indicating that real men don't cry
-- knock it off or I'll give you something be mad/to cry about
-- don't get so excited; it's not that big of a deal
-- you don't really feel that way
Affirming and understanding feelings is a way to help us learn to return to calm and peace from those feelings. When I tell Jesus my feelings, I feel his compassion and comfort.
If I refuse to admit that I have those feelings, they don't go away as some people suppose. Instead, they go deep inside. When enough stuffed emotions fill us up, the next logical step is explosion.
Today I am sad about the ravages of Huntington's Disease on people I love.
A verse I've been thinking of for 2 days is this from Jesus: "In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world."
Thank goodness this is not all there is!
Jesus felt frustration, sadness, anger, and extreme joy. It seems he even felt hurt when, in the Garden, he said, "Could you not watch with me one hour?" He was disappointed in people.
Many of us were taught some of these things as we grew up:
-- stop crying and be a man, indicating that real men don't cry
-- knock it off or I'll give you something be mad/to cry about
-- don't get so excited; it's not that big of a deal
-- you don't really feel that way
Affirming and understanding feelings is a way to help us learn to return to calm and peace from those feelings. When I tell Jesus my feelings, I feel his compassion and comfort.
If I refuse to admit that I have those feelings, they don't go away as some people suppose. Instead, they go deep inside. When enough stuffed emotions fill us up, the next logical step is explosion.
Today I am sad about the ravages of Huntington's Disease on people I love.
A verse I've been thinking of for 2 days is this from Jesus: "In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world."
Thank goodness this is not all there is!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Do you crack yourself up?
That's probably a very poor English sentence...but that's what I want to ask!
I just don't want to be the only one who regularly laughs at myself.
I love this city. I want to do some research on the building of Seattle and putting in all these streets that go around, on top, and sometimes through the mountains that surround us. Maybe it will help me understand my GPS!
Yesterday I was looking for that specialty shoe store. I had the address. I put in my GPS. On the way to the nursing home, I looked for it, and did not find it. After I left the nursing home, I searched again. I found the street names, but many of them were dead ends. The GPS kept saying, "turn towards...." I did and it didn't go through. So I turned around. I must have done that about 4 times.
When I finally reached the store, and found what I wanted, I was delighted. I also was able to just "let go" of my crazy journey. I continue to surprise myself by no longer getting angry or upset when I get lost or when streets end abruptly. I just whip into someone's driveway and back out going the other direction.
I am so thankful for: Rose Marie Wrung introducing me to Thrive Ministries, and the JOY work they do, for Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You and Joy Starts Here, books published Shepherd Publishing and Thrive.
I am thankful to finally know --- in my heart and soul, not just in my head, how much Jesus loves me.
I just don't want to be the only one who regularly laughs at myself.
I love this city. I want to do some research on the building of Seattle and putting in all these streets that go around, on top, and sometimes through the mountains that surround us. Maybe it will help me understand my GPS!
Yesterday I was looking for that specialty shoe store. I had the address. I put in my GPS. On the way to the nursing home, I looked for it, and did not find it. After I left the nursing home, I searched again. I found the street names, but many of them were dead ends. The GPS kept saying, "turn towards...." I did and it didn't go through. So I turned around. I must have done that about 4 times.
When I finally reached the store, and found what I wanted, I was delighted. I also was able to just "let go" of my crazy journey. I continue to surprise myself by no longer getting angry or upset when I get lost or when streets end abruptly. I just whip into someone's driveway and back out going the other direction.
I am so thankful for: Rose Marie Wrung introducing me to Thrive Ministries, and the JOY work they do, for Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You and Joy Starts Here, books published Shepherd Publishing and Thrive.
I am thankful to finally know --- in my heart and soul, not just in my head, how much Jesus loves me.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Stripped and Cut Down
They came early this morning. They walked around the yard and looked for the blue tape which marked the trees destined to fall.
As I sat at my table, writing, I watched as a man harnessed himself to the tree and reached for the chainsaw attached to his belt. He trimmed the lower branches first, and climbed ever higher, stripping the tree of all foliage. Then he sawed off the top of the tree and worked his way down.
This property was left to the elements for some time before my landlady bought it. As a corner lot, there are many trees, and it's beautiful. It is not, however, easy to care for. Some trees had to go so that other things could grow correctly. I am not a tree hugger, but I was surprised at my initial response - a little ping of remorse in my heart.
I love the trees of the northwest. They are amazing to see and smell. I love the sounds of the wind whispering and sometimes shouting through them. I know some have to be removed, but I don't have to like it!
As I sat at my table, writing, I watched as a man harnessed himself to the tree and reached for the chainsaw attached to his belt. He trimmed the lower branches first, and climbed ever higher, stripping the tree of all foliage. Then he sawed off the top of the tree and worked his way down.
This property was left to the elements for some time before my landlady bought it. As a corner lot, there are many trees, and it's beautiful. It is not, however, easy to care for. Some trees had to go so that other things could grow correctly. I am not a tree hugger, but I was surprised at my initial response - a little ping of remorse in my heart.
I love the trees of the northwest. They are amazing to see and smell. I love the sounds of the wind whispering and sometimes shouting through them. I know some have to be removed, but I don't have to like it!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
The End is Not the End
Been studying the Gospel of John again. In chapter 11, Jesus heard that His friend, Lazarus, was ill. He then makes some enigmatic statements, which the disciples don't understand:
---Lazarus' sickness will not end in death.
---Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I will wake him up.
---Finally Jesus declares clearly: Lazarus is dead.
Jesus reminds the disciples that the final goal is that His glory be seen in all circumstances so that they would believe in Him.
My musings from these verses:
The END MAY NOT BE THE END:
---The end of childhood (age) does not necessarily mean the end of childlikeness.
---The end of schooling does not mean the end of learning and education.
---The end of singleness by getting married does not necessarily mean the end of loneliness.
---The end of a career does not mean the end of working.
---When children grow up and move out of the house, it is not the end of parenting.
You can make your own list from your life experiences. When something ended, was it really the end? How can God be glorified through it all and your faith increased?
---Lazarus' sickness will not end in death.
---Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I will wake him up.
---Finally Jesus declares clearly: Lazarus is dead.
Jesus reminds the disciples that the final goal is that His glory be seen in all circumstances so that they would believe in Him.
My musings from these verses:
The END MAY NOT BE THE END:
---The end of childhood (age) does not necessarily mean the end of childlikeness.
---The end of schooling does not mean the end of learning and education.
---The end of singleness by getting married does not necessarily mean the end of loneliness.
---The end of a career does not mean the end of working.
---When children grow up and move out of the house, it is not the end of parenting.
You can make your own list from your life experiences. When something ended, was it really the end? How can God be glorified through it all and your faith increased?
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