Belonging?

     I've been learning more about "belonging" recently. I remember a conversation I had with my brother one morning at the breakfast table in my home some years back. I had realized something very important: my parents were married for 2 years before he was born. Then 5 years later I was born. There was 7 years of history in this family, and I only knew snippets of it. I guess I didn't ask many questions, but I felt a bit like a stranger without full knowledge of that history! He began to tell me what he knew and remembered.
     This weekend I spent some time with extended family, and realized how I value so much the relationships I have through that bloodline! I felt like I belonged in a family.
     My own isolationism (is that a word?) has kept me from getting too close to my family sometimes. I have sometimes been too busy trying to cope with all my own problems and pain to enter into anyone else's lives.
     I understand and appreciate being part of an extended family more and more.
    

Thoughts about my Aunt Helen, Life, and Death

    My uncle and I were talking yesterday. My Aunt Helen passed away this week, and we were talking about never being prepared for death. She has been afflicted by Alzheimer's for the last few years, and he has cared for her at home. He watched her body and mind deteriorate, and knew when the end was close, but he wasn't ready. How can one really be ready to watch the very last breath escape our loved one's lips?
    I went to my first funeral (that I remember) when I was in 7th grade, but we never really talked about death at my house, like it was something strange and taboo. I didn't think about it much, and I don't remember asking any questions about it.
    In 1985 a dear friend of ours died of a heart attack in Southern California. We were called and never hesitated to change our travel plans to be at the funeral. As we walked into the chapel to meet the widow and view the body, I was struck by this thought:
"He's not here! This is his body, but he's not here!"
    As a pastor, I've officiated at many funerals. I've felt the palpable grief of people who lost loved ones from sudden fatal illnesses or tragic accidents, with so many important issues unresolved...so many loving words left unsaid and angry words left hanging in the air. Other funerals were filled with memories, laughter, and wonderful stories of a life lived with peace, purpose, and joy. 
    I want to die well...I want to just enjoy the peace and joy of God every single day, following His plans as closely as possible...until one day He's done with me. I want to help people smile, think, wonder at God's ways, and find a purpose for their lives. Then I'll be ready to go, and meet Jesus face-to-face, and my Aunt Helen.

TOOLS for JOY STRENGTH

   I'm struggling with some personal issues today that require JOY STRENGTH. So I typed out a half-sheet of promises from the Word of God for myself that I will be considering throughout the weekend. Maybe they will be of value to you:
   "You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32.
   "God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way."  Hebrews 12:10b-13
   "In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free." Ps. 118:5
   "For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." II Co. 3:17 and finally,
   "Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin." Romans 6:5-7.
   Someone once said: Dead people don't carry grudges. Dead people don't crave what they don't have. Dead people don't rant and rage. Dead people don't....whatever.
   The key to my freedom and thus JOY STRENGTH, is dying with Christ and then resurrection living. JOY

Heart Walls

     "Hard-hearted"
     "Tender-hearted"
     "A person with a big heart"
     How's your heart?
     I'm in the chapter of The Life Model: Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You that deals with my HEART. We've all had heart pains --- not necessarily the physical kind, but the emotional ones, when someone made a comment that hurt deeply or when someone we cared deeply about stopped caring about us...the scenarios are limitless. We can develop defenses which are like building brick walls around our hearts. Nothing coming in and little going out. We can be very careful with our hearts and stay safe.
     I've done that; now I call that "existing" not living. It can help us survive, which is a good thing! But I want more --- to really live, don't you?  
     My mother had congestive heart failure, which ultimately took her life. There was some thickening and hardening of parts of the walls of her heart. It has been a helpful picture for me as I work on my emotional/spiritual heart.
     Sometimes I allow pain to "toughen" my heart, and I need the Spirit of God, the love of Jesus, to soften my heart again -- toward myself, toward others who are struggling, toward those who are irritating to me.
     Lord, heal my heart!
    

Dressed With Joy

    Clothing is powerful.
    Once a friend in Bangkok gave me a free "Color Me Beautiful" analysis. I was glad and also figured she thought I was unaware of what colors I should be wearing. I used to have a lot of olive green (yuck) in my wardrobe. Those went away. When she draped a deep purple swath over my shoulder I almost gasped; it suddenly looked like I'd had a little face lift. (I was younger then!)
     Many people wear dark clothing for a period of time when someone has passed away. Others wear it because it is fashionable or has a slimming affect. Some wear bright, cheerful clothes when they prepare to go to a party or a picnic. We know about "power suits" and how to dress for success. Style, color, and appropriateness are certainly vital issues!
     Psalm 30:11 says "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."
     So, what do your clothes of mourning look like? Not the actual clothing, but when you are sad, angry or frustrated, what happens to your demeanor, your face, your whole outlook?
     When you are experiencing God's joy, how do those change? What happens to your face, your eyes, your mouth when you've put on joy?
     It's time for me to change clothes today!

Tasting JOY!

      I live in a place where a favorite pasttime of many is "wine-tasting" tours...going to various wineries to sample their products. The object is not the tasting,of course, but finding something you like and buying more. It's like Costco with samples of food spread throughout the store, where you can have a full meal by the time you're done shopping!
      There's an old song by Bill Gaither that starts:  "I have tasted of freedom; I can see where He's leading, for shackles can hold me no more." Those words have been going around in my head this week, with one change: "I have tasted of joy."
     My joy journey started a long time ago, with an inner desire for joy. I now know God created me that way. He made me for JOY! And along the way I've tasted some JOY...

• The birth of my children
• Making deep, lasting friendship with people around the world
• Watching God change lives when people meet Jesus
• Listening to all 5 of my delightful grandchildren
• Living near Mt. Adams and Mt. Rainier
• Sitting by the Straits of Juan de Fuca listening to the gulls and surf

     Those joy-tastings haven't been powerful enough, in and of themselves, to sustain me through the trials. All my life I've been looking for more and more real joy. And I am now experiencing it more consistently...even in tough stuff.
     This week people I know were devasted by losing their jobs; a child of good friends was attacked; people struggled with relationships and pain. And when I woke this morning, I still felt joy, and I know there's more to come!
     Does this make YOU hungry for real JOY?
   

I Need JOY STRENGTH to Be Mature; How About You?

     I did not want to commit myself to a 6 week study with a group of 5 other leaders training to lead groups on Living From the Heart Jesus Gave You. I knew what would happen. I would have to confront some sticky things in my life. I would have to ask someone to pray for me. I would have to let go of some things. But I did it, because I knew it was good for me, and it was time.
    The first time I saw a chart in the book, I realized I was quite immature in some areas of my life. I mean, I'm 61, for goodness' sake! I've gone through a few things in my life and survived. But I'm learning how low to non-existent was my JOY STRENGTH, and I was easily thrown backwards into depression and sadness...and emotional eating.
     So, I'm working on adding joy strength that will help me be able to weather the new and old tough places...to enable me to do the next hard stuff, whatever is needed for health and wholeness, and be able to return to joy.
     Here's what happened yesterday: I had a project at work and found myself at my desk, reading the material I had to summarize and put in a report, and feeling a great urge to eat, not work! I grabbed a notepad and wrote at the top: Why do I want to eat instead of work?
1. Because I don't know exactly how to do what I need to on this project.
2. It's a complicated story to condense and it's hard to do.
3. I want to do work that is fun and easy.
At the bottom of the page I wrote:  MATURITY?
     Then I had a new idea and quickly completed the project, and it was pretty good.    
     How simple to do...but how stuck I get!  
     Maybe you don't have issues about tackling challenges at work. But what about the challenging issues of your marriage or your relationships with your kids? What about doing the hard work of forgiving someone who has hurt you? What about the work of joining a community of people who love you, will walk with you, and who need you to walk with them in healing some of their old hurts?
     WE ARE MADE FOR JOY and we can find WHOLENESS IN COMMUNITY. I'm learning; will you join me?