My daughter and her husband have 3 boys, and have returned from Indonesia...needing an appropriate vehicle. In 2008 I purchased a 2007 Kia Sedona van. I have hauled many youth, children and adults to various functions, carried huge loads of "stuff," and the van has been a super vehicle for me. But this family needs this van. So we made a deal. And I was back doing what I enjoy: car shopping!
We are under a time constraint, so I have been reading about cars online, looking at some dealerships...you know the routine.
Last Thursday morning my journal contains this prayer entry: "Father, please guide me in this whole car situation." And immediately the name of an elderly couple in our church came to my mind. I knew they were possibly selling a car, but had not talked to them about it. I now own a 1999 Ford Taurus with 75,000 miles on it...at a great price. They bought it new, and it's pretty much like new inside and out. It will do for me while I save $$$ for a newer car later and my kids will have the van they need. I wrote: ANSWERED across my prayer.
As I was working through the deal, a nagging thought popped up several times: "Yeah, but think of the 2 or 3 other families you know who need a car, too. You could have borrowed money and bought a newer car and let them have this one." And I had some moments of feeling a bit GUILTY!
Do you ever allow your JOY at God's provisions or answers to prayer to be dulled by feelings of false guilt?
Do you come away from great moments of JOY thinking you don't deserve to feel that way?
Do you find it hard to accept gifts or services from someone else, but usually get your good feelings about yourself from helping others?
Sometimes it helps to remember that Jesus accepted gifts and hospitality from people --- because He didn't own a home, a car; He didn't have a bank account nor and IRA. His Father provided for Him through the people around Him.
Giving and receiving JOY --- signs of maturity (from Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You).
PEACE
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