I used to be afraid a lot. When we first arrived in Bangkok, I was afraid for my husband to travel to churches in outlying villages --- so many terrible traffic accidents. I was afraid for my health and the health of our 3 year old daughter. I was afraid...well, you get it.
I would have conversations with God, asking for His protection. Sometimes I even talked to Satan --- telling him I knew he was the author of that kind of incapacitating fear, and to get out. I'm certain many people would think I was crazy. But it worked. That, and reading the scripture.
As I read the stories of the Old Testament, and the promises of Jesus, my faith was strengthened. When Cambodia and Thailand were fighting on the border, I was barely aware of it. When government unrest increased and my US Embassy friends were hoarding food just in case, I didn't worry.
My fear is pretty well gone...sometimes I'm tempted to worry. When I'm done with the present job I'm doing, will the health insurance be there? Will I be able to afford to live in my house or will I need to sell it, probably at a loss?
But then I remember several things: 1. God has been preparing me for another change, yet again. I already knew I would be doing some different things in the new year. 2. God has never failed me yet. 3. God does not usually provide for me ahead of time - sometimes yes, but not often. There is always a time of uncertainty, and not knowing the details.
Where is God leading you in 2012? Will you hang back in fear? Or will you step up and watch the hand of God move?
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