One of the things I learned in 1979 was that, although I was a believer in Christ, my faith was weak. I felt close to Him for awhile and then away from Him. I remember thinking that I had nothing to teach or share with Thai people if I didn't have a faith that worked. I began a journey with the Word of God, and with God's Spirit which repaired the foundation of my Christian beliefs.
I had gone to church with and lived around many believers who believed in the "do's" and "don'ts" of religion, but when push came to shove, they worried, fretted, judged and condemned. I wondered if their faith in God really worked.
Was this how it was destined to be all my life? In 1979 I wanted something more.
It was a God-preparation, as I was going to face trials that would leave me literally face-down before the Lord, crying out for His wisdom, understanding, and intervention. I would have to learn anew what God was really like: that He loved me so much, and if and when I took one short glance at Him, He would be there. He would change me as I learned He could be totally trusted.
As I face the decline of my husband of 42 years, I'm in the same kind of place. Does my faith work? If I grieve, cry, wail, and throw myself on my face before God, does it mean I don't trust Him? I don't think so.
In this whole process I have one desire: I want to be as honest as possible about who I am, what I'm feeling. I can't pretend. I can't hide. I can only be me, a beloved daughter of the Creator. And He knows me best. I have a faith that works as I work it.
Work your faith today and see what happens.
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