I don't know how many weddings I have officiated. I know that most of them have been simple yet elegant events. Some of them were extravagant, costing thousands of dollars. I required at least six hours of pre-marital counseling, discussing the baggage the bride and groom were bringing to this relationship. Even so, some of the marriages forged at that altar have already dissolved.
Walter Wangarin wrote about the way a marriage becomes a living organism, two separate individuals creating a new entity: I and You becomes We. When divorce, disease, or death enter this marriage, it's not simply a piece of paper that is torn. Indeed, the rending of hearts is a visceral experience.
In 1983 or 1984 I went with some friends on a train to a counseling retreat in Chiang Mai - northern Thailand. Our friend, Pat, led the retreat and spent much time with us, sharing her heart, home, and her Lord. I met privately to talk with her about the devastation that was rocking our home and our world.
Pat said to me, "Karen, you cannot put this back together. Your marriage is like a piece of fine china, and right now it lies shattered on the floor, in a million pieces. Try as you might, it won't be fixed. What you need is a new love, a new life with your husband. That's what God can do."
Not long ago a friend in Indiana, who has been following my Facebook and blog, asked me about some things I had written about my husband. She said, "It sounds like you love him more than ever."
I realized that what Pat had said to me years ago had become reality: God has given me a new love for my husband. Now, as Huntington's Disease con-tinues to ravage his mind and body, it is that living marriage relationship that is rending my heart and soul.
Would it have been easier to walk away and not allow God to give me a new love for my spouse? Definitely not.
God is faithful, and has been with us through all the storms we have faced. I am counting on His promised peace in the middle of even this storm.
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