March 4 was Three Months

    Recently I got a call from a Hospice social worker, just to check on me, she said. She told me that one of the difficult points in grief work is about the third month after the loss. I did not know that. 

    As she expressed her concern for me, I wept. I am easily touched when people recognize how tough it is at the moment. I was surprised at my visceral response.

    I know I am still in grief. Even today as I listened to Pandora instrumental Christian music, I was suddenly weeping. 

    The song, "He Giveth More Grace" came on---a song Marvin and I sang so many times. We did a LOT of singing together: "Broken and Spilled Out," Andre Crouch songs, quartets and choir songs...so much music. 

    I realize I have sections in my life: books we've read; music we loved; jokes and funny stories we treasured; trips we've taken overseas and in the U.S. These must all be acknowledged in some way or other and grieved. 

    It will likely take the rest of my life to work through all of the losses connected with losing Marvin. That does not mean I will be incapacited by my tears and pain every day. It means I'm paying attention; I'm remembering what was important in our lives. 

    And I am especially hearing and feeling the deep love and comfort of God through the journey. For that I give praise.