Don't Turn Off the TV

   I watched the network news the other night for the first time in a long time. The turmoil across northern Africa, the Middle East and other spots in the world, is truly mind-boggling. From the comfort of my living room chair, it's pretty easy to say, "those people should just go home, stop demonstrating." It isn't easy to understand all the dynamics of all the issues. It's just easier to turn off the TV.
   The world is much smaller today though. We are going to be touched by the violence in northern Africa because of people we know who live and work there. We are going to be watching the situation closely in the country where our children live and work. As it heats up in other places, it affects people everywhere.
    Putting bars on our windows, padlocks on our gates won't protect our hearts... hopefully. May our hearts be open to the brokenness in our world, in the homes on our blocks, in our community, Valley, state, and our own nation. Oh God, help us not to turn off the TV -- but to become emotionally touched by the hurt in our world.
  

All in a Day

    So, what do I do when I have to stay home and recuperate?
...keep track of my funny friends and the twists and turns of their move to Nashville. (This is an all-day adventure sometimes!) 
...talk to my kids or write to them online.
...work on counseling stuff I'm doing.
...do my exercises several times.
...finish a great book on prayer.
...pray.
...journal.
...work on eoy stuff for church and home.
...look up things I want to know about on the internet, especially clean humor stuff.
...sleep
...take meds and drink lots of water
    I didn't say anything about watching TV. Nothing great on TV and it's not as comfortable for me to sit out there. Lying in the bed is much more relaxing!
    Today I have the beginnings of a stuffy nose, which is not what I needed...I'm supposed to avoid infections of any kind. So I will be trying to care for myself and still do a few extra things.
    There are good days and bad when we're going through stuff. In the past when I had a bad day, I felt this sense of dread, that that's the way life was going to be from now on. My new joy freedom helps me to know that TODAY I may feel rough, but it's not going to last forever. Feelings come and go. A rich blessing. Grateful.
   

The Ordeal

   I have two artificial hips already. Arthritis and genetics have done a number on my joints. Thursday I bit the bullet and had the right knee replaced. A 2 1/2 hr. pre-op took place on the Monday before...with lots of blood taken, clean urine sample, EKG, chest xray, etc. When the approval of insurance was secured, I was good to go.
   My friends, the Vrielings, provided me with a ride to the hospital...had to be there by 5:30 a.m. That's when I found out the pre-op failed to prepare a "blood band." That had to be done before I was taken back to get prepped for the surgyer.   
   It seemed like a very long wait, but the anesthesiologist and surgeon finally came...and I was wheeled into the operating room. I was given a spinal block, but it seemed to be a bit difficult...I don't remember too much about that.
   I don't remember waking up in recovery...but I was itching from Morphine and feeling a it queasy. For two days I struggled to keep down water. The first night I had a roommate...who liked to sleep with her TV on...and she snored.
   I finally asked the nurse for earplugs.
   The sign-in and sign-out seemed to take some nurses forever. And they asked the same questions we had filled out in every other form since our first PRE-OP!  Where did all those records go anyway? 
   I was given lots of pain meds, 3 different kinds. The nurse would come and stand at the computer by the bed and ask, "So when did you have your last pain medication?"
   I wanted to say, "You're kidding, right?" She is documenting everything! She is scanning my armband w/every pill, and is supposed to scan the package of meds! I finally said, "I have no idea. Don't you have it there in the records?"
    The second night I had no roommate, and slept very well. I kept reminding them to shut the door, which they seemed reluctant to do. The next day I got a new roommate, who had broken her ankle. She was only there overnight, so we were preparing to be released at the same time...
    The nurse was going over my prescriptions for the pain meds, etc. and said something about a scooter for my knee. My friend spoke up and said, "She just had the knee replaced...she can't use a scooter. They lady in the other bed was to go home with the scooter, but MY ID sticker was placed on her prescription!
    The final discovery was that the physical therapy had filled out a paper for me to take home the knee stretching machine. My social security number was incorrect...she looked at me like, "How could you have done that?"  Oh no, I didn't write that number!!!
    I really would like NOT to go back to the hospital again. 

I Called the Police on my Husband Once...

Jay Leno's joke reminded me...here's his:
      A man says it's his fault that his wife shot him five times when she mistook him for an intruder. That's how you know you've been married too long, when your wife shoots you five times and you say, "It was my fault."
      Marvin was on a weekend camping trip. I came home in the evening and noticed the basement window wasn't shut tight. By the time I got in the house, looked at the messages, and read the paper, I forgot about the window...until the noise in the driveway under my bedroom window woke me from a sound sleep. It was a 55 gallon drum being drug across the cement. (We used them for shipping when we were missionaries.)
      I was suddenly alert, and listened as the kitchen window was slid open. I dialed 911.
      "Someone's in my house," I whispered. I told the dispatcher of the sound I'd heard. "I hear somebody on the stairs...coming upstairs!"
      "Stay calm, officers are almost there," she said.
      Suddenly Marvin's head popped around the door. I said to her, "Oh, it's my husband!" I mean your voice sounds almost disappointed when you say that phrase!  Marvin came home early from the trip because of bad weather and didn't have his key, so he climbed in the window.
      By then he had to go explain himself to the officers at both the back and front door and I had to vouch for him...hhmmm...what a temptation: "No, officer, I don't know this man!" I was still a bit freaked out, so that thought didn't occur to me. Until later!

My Funny Friend is moving!!!

   I mean, why should it matter? We don't see each other often. We talk on the phone a lot...more as THE DAY approaches. Tomorrow Judi and Ernie are moving to Tennessee. Now we have to think about the time zones, and all that other stuff. It shouldn't matter that much. We can still talk on the phone. But it will be different. When Judi says to me, as she often has, "don't make me come down there..." I will know she's really not coming.
  We've had some great laughs...it's like we've been hurrying up to share the funny things before they move --- like there won't be anything funny anymore. But we know that's not true. The home video the Tennessee realtor made of their new home had us both almost in tears! It was the new stainless steel refrigerator! Oh my...
   And the time we laughed so hard about a prayer request that was misunderstood, and then couldn't stop laughing during prayer. I think God got a kick out of us that morning! I'm smiling as I write these memories!
   Thanks for the keyboards, the Birthday gifts (Judi wrote me a song, and Ernie played his trombone for my guests), the many, many prayers and everything else.
   When I have to go to Anderson, I will now swing south a bit to see you...can you get there from Anderson?!?  JOY TO YOU BOTH and all those furry creatures you're taking with you.
   
     

Joy and Pain

     I had been reading and talking to Him, and got up to get some breakfast and a shower...when I got to the kitchen door, the sun was streaming through my window. I went to my outside door which faces east...and just stood in the open door and basked in the brilliance. The sun was up and hit me straight in the eyes. THANKS...for the sun. THANKS...for a new day. THANKS...for strength for today. And then I felt like a "clutch" on my heart.
      My dear friend, Cheryl, who went to Japan with her husband and family the same year we went to Thailand, is fighting for her life. Like our mutual friend, Susan, Cheryl's cancer seems to be winning. I wept for her today, for her immediate family, for her extended family --- and for her world-wide family. Cheryl is a gifted writer, and has put the testimonies of people from all over the world in book form. She loves so many, many of us across the globe.
     As I stood in doorway and felt the sun on my face, I told Him, "It's too soon! She has too much to do...more words to say...more books to write...more people's lives to touch." I straightened my back, and lifted my head a little, and thought about Job 19...I know that my Redeemer lives. I pray for the people I know Cheryl was praying for, that they will also know that truth through her life here or there. THANKS, Lord, for Cheryl.

     

Life Changes

     Life is all about changes. I remember when I was young and lived in the same house for a long time. Then we moved to another place 2 blocks away, and I lived there for ages. Then college dorms, apartments in Salem, OR, and Pasadena, CA, Houston, TX, all the time trying to find myself. Marriage, children, missions ... traveling and moving. We lived in Indiana the longest: 12 years. Now I've been in this place 10 years, doing the same job.
     The landscape is shifting again, as we deal with my husband's deteriorating disease,  my own health issues, and slowing down some. Where is all this change headed?
     I feel like I am just figuring out my life ... why some things happened to me, what I have been trying to fix, how my past has formed my present, what I really need and enjoy in life. What I want to be and do when I grow up! As some psychologists say, I'm finally learning to become a "human being" rather than a "human doing."
     I hope you did that already.

A day of ERs, new doctors, and upset tablemates

     My doctor is semi-retiring. He's been my doctor for about 9 years, and actually saved my life twice. I don't change doctors easily, especially when I'm friends with my doctor. But I am pleased with my new doctor. Now it's on to the knee replacement and recovery --- next week!   
    My husband smashed his fingernail the other night in a fall. He never remembers exactly what happened. It required an ER visit to poke the nail and relieve the pressure. The actual procedure took about 1 minutes. The paperwork and waiting time was 1 hr. and 15 min. As we left the hospital, I called the adult care facility to ask what was for dinner. "Toasted cheese sandwiches," was the answer. I asked if it would be okay to pick up a chicken pot pie and bring it back...would that be annoying to the other residents? It was almost 5:30 and some would be just about finished with their meals. "No problem," she said.
    Problem...I thought I would help him and eat my grilled chicken with him. We sat down. The 90+ year old at the end of the table said, "Well, is he going to eat that here?"
"Yes," I said, "He lives here."
    She picked up the half-eaten half of her sandwich and held it up, "and we're eating this?" I said, "I'm sorry." She quipped, "Sure you are!"
    I took my dinner home and ate it.

Humor, a Funny Place

     I love reading about humor. I possess some old books on the subject, like Isaac Asimov's Treasury of Humor, and Exit Laughing by Irvin Cobb. Another 2" volume on the shelf is The Oxford Book of Humorous Prose. I got those for my last hip replacement surgery recovery, but they're not keepers. (Let me know if you want them!)
     Humor is so personal, so cultural. I enjoy some of the BBC comedies on PBS. They require that I pay attention, especially to the British English nuances.
     In the late 70s, early 80s, we lived in Asia. Our Thai leader called Acharn, which basically means "teacher," loved to tell the story of baptizing new believers in a northeastern village. The only water deep enough was the pig trough. What tickled this usually solemn man was mimicking the pig sounds. "Oot! Oot!" and then he giggled. Again, "Oot! Oot!" and more laughter.
     To my western mind it wasn't all that funny. Perhaps, I thought, like much situational humor, you just had to be there.

OUCH!

    I'm trying to spend time throughout my week reading entries in past journals. Today I was in 1991. It often makes me laugh or cry, mad or sad. Today I read about some conflicts with family members...immediate and extended. When I found an idea I believed at the time which was not true, I scribbled in big letters, "LIE!" It is sad to see how many lies I've believed over the years.
    The harder part was when I was confronted with truth by people, and it hurt so bad. When it was an extended family member or co-worker who spoke it, I was upset and vowed to avoid them for awhile. But when my children echoed the truth with: "She's right, Mom. That is how you are," my response then and even today was visceral. Ouch, that hurts.
    Truth often hurts. Then we have the opportunity to turn it around and use it as a tool for healing. Or we can deny, ignore, and blame, turning it into a bitterness that pushes everyone away. Ouch, even that truth stings a bit!

Situational Honesty

    Are you always 100% honest? I want to believe I am. But alas, I know me.
    Lying, doctoring the truth, minimalizing truth, white lies, whatever we call it, I have done it. As a kid, I lied a lot. I believed (and I proved this to be true), that if I told the truth, I would be punished anyway for whatever I was confessing. If I lied and got away with it, great. Trouble is lying is like many other vices: I lose a part of myself - that part of me created to be in right relationship with others and with my Creator.  
    I don't lie anymore - on purpose - at least not just to be lying. I do not always say every-thing I think (even if you believe I do!). 
    I do believe integrity is very important. Once at Safeway, the clerk and I forgot the bottled water on the bottom of the cart. I got home before checking out the receipt and had to go back and pay for it. 
    Two other true stories: In another city, I met a woman from church in the supermarket parking lot. She was a single mom, with three girls to support alone. She greeted me warmly and excitedly reported, "Wow, God has really blessed me today. The clerk made a huge error in my favor! She gave me almost $15.00 more than she should have!"
    A friend of mine once told me the story of a tube of lipstick. As a child, she was fascinated by lipstick, but her parents thought her too young to wear it. One day her piano teacher had forgotten to put her lipstick back in her purse, and the child slipped it into her pocket.
    Hers was a very religious family, where family prayer took place every night. That first night, little E. couldn't concentrate on prayer for thinking of the tube of lipstick in her coat pocket. In fact, every time she prayed, the tube of lipstick got bigger and bigger, like some magic potion was making it grow. How could everyone NOT know about it?
    Finally she had to confess her theft and her mother made her immediately return the lipstick.     
    I've been thinking about John 1 --- Jesus is described as full of grace and truth. I want to be too.
   

Joy Friends

     I had to call her this morning...my quirky joy friend. I call her when I have a joke or story that I find quite funny, but know that most of my friends would hear it, squint and shake their heads, indicating, "What's so funny about that?"
    My joy friend has a more outrageous sense of humor than I do, so she understands me.
    The story was actually about something kind of tragic that happened, but had a humorous bent to it. I know many people would go, "Oh, that's awful." And I would agree.
     It reminds me, however, of how life can be: horrible or hilarious...sometimes one or the other...sometimes both and at the same time. I have to try to find humor in some of the most difficult things of life. Often I can see it best in hindsight!
     My husband has Huntington's Disease and lives in an adult care home. He sometimes says funny things that kind of surprise people. He doesn't filter his words much anymore. This week I stopped to see him on my way home from work. He was very alert and we laughed about past crazy experiences. 
     I said, "I really miss laughing with you. We've done that a lot over the years." He scrunched up his mouth to make his "crying" face; I choked up too, thinking of the sadness and loss HD brings.
     Then he turned and looked at me and said, "You want to make out?" 
     We both laughed out loud. And I've been chuckling ever since!

Serenity Prayer

  "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
  the courage to change the things I can,
  and the wisdom to know the difference."  Richard Niehbur

      I continue to realize the power of these words on my mind as I deal with the "system" trying to figure out financial issues, my own health issues, relationship stresses, frustrations with people and institutions. When I don't just "react" I can do this mental gymnatics exercise:
      In my mind, there is a mini-flow chart...1) Here's the issue. 2) Can you change this situation? 3) If so, what are the possible ways it could be changed? 4) Talk to God about the possibilities and then wait for any clarity that might come. 5) Choose a course of action. 6) Ask God for courage to do what I must do.
      The other side of the flow chart...1) Here's the issue. 2) Can you change this situation? 3) The answer is "no." 4) Talk to God about the peace I need to accept this reality. 5) Let go. 6) Repeat as necessary!
       Do I always have such clarity? No, but more than I used to ... perhaps someday.   

Need a Laugh?

    Having lived overseas for many years, I understand how easy it is to mangle a language. English is one of the most difficult for some people to speak. If you need a good belly laugh today, go to http://www.engrish.com/ and just spend some time chuckling! It will help you feel better. 
    I like the one about the GRINCH...and the sign that says, "PLEASE SHOUT THE DOOR!"

a C.S. Lewis quote for 2011

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird; it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad."
C.S. Lewis