I Called the Police on my Husband Once...

Jay Leno's joke reminded me...here's his:
      A man says it's his fault that his wife shot him five times when she mistook him for an intruder. That's how you know you've been married too long, when your wife shoots you five times and you say, "It was my fault."
      Marvin was on a weekend camping trip. I came home in the evening and noticed the basement window wasn't shut tight. By the time I got in the house, looked at the messages, and read the paper, I forgot about the window...until the noise in the driveway under my bedroom window woke me from a sound sleep. It was a 55 gallon drum being drug across the cement. (We used them for shipping when we were missionaries.)
      I was suddenly alert, and listened as the kitchen window was slid open. I dialed 911.
      "Someone's in my house," I whispered. I told the dispatcher of the sound I'd heard. "I hear somebody on the stairs...coming upstairs!"
      "Stay calm, officers are almost there," she said.
      Suddenly Marvin's head popped around the door. I said to her, "Oh, it's my husband!" I mean your voice sounds almost disappointed when you say that phrase!  Marvin came home early from the trip because of bad weather and didn't have his key, so he climbed in the window.
      By then he had to go explain himself to the officers at both the back and front door and I had to vouch for him...hhmmm...what a temptation: "No, officer, I don't know this man!" I was still a bit freaked out, so that thought didn't occur to me. Until later!