Misconceptions

     I have not blogged for some time, but I'm nudged today to put down some of my recent thoughts.
     I've been writing in journals for 34 years. What do you do with 34 years worth of journals? I've tried to read through them all before, but had to stop. Some things were too painful to relive. But in the past few years I've experienced more and deeper healing, so I'm trying it again. And I'm learning other things about myself.
     I believed and lived a great many lies. Here are just a few:

• to be a missionary, I must be perfect - this seemed to mean that I never missed a day of reading the Bible, praying, and writing. It seemed to mean that I was to be a super-mom, super-wife, super-friend, super-daughter-in-in-law, super-...well, you get the point.
• I was supposed to "forgive and forget" and take care of everyone else.
• I was never supposed to be upset, afraid, or sad.

     I am getting rid of most of my journals this time around. I'm saving a few stories-especially humorous ones or ideas I might want to use as fodder for writing. But why would I keep books filled with a bunch of lies about myself and others? That's a silly thought.
     It's hard to explain how exciting it is to get rid of the evidence of years of "stinking thinking." And how thankful...how deeply thankful I am for the freedom to finally know myself well enough to know truth from other peoples' ideas about me.
     It's about time.